Somebody Else's Kids-3

The problem that Ginny faced that nearly everyone she interacted with- forgot or ignored the fact that she was not quite like everyone and needed care and understanding- and that included me as well
So often we pay attention to visible disabilites- blindless, limps, deformation of limbs etc.
She had a brain malfunction- I dont quite remember what its called now
All I remember is she couldnt read remember or recognise words and letters
Dumb, Lazy, unfit, slow- these were some of her prep school teachers had labelled her
Failing in every test...her spirit never failed

Finally they brought her to me- Now I had 3 of them

Someone Else's Kids- 2

Ali-the other boy in my school- For want of a better word I use the word "school" its more like a care centre...
Ali-Ten, Brown, strong, with a vocabulary that has a expletive added with every 3 words

His file read-" Refugee from Bangladesh, illegal migration, 6 months back in a family scuffle, witnessed his mother stabbing his father with a knife, she is currently in custody as a undertrial"

While I droned about the ten commandments, Ali sang a hindi song in his childish voice......

Someone Else's Kids-1

"We did it when I was thirteen , he told me I couldnt get preganant...."

The little girl standing in front of me- 14, shy, catholic and pregnant, thrown out by her parents, brought to the institute and put under my care

She traced a small red mark on her arm- "I didnt like it much -it was painful"

I have often wondered how do big things of life fit in small discussions......

Comfortably Numb-2

No one asked me what I want,I have got used to being unasked
Life continues to pass by through several years, experiences, moments, critical situations- all of these I scale through carefully ministered instructions.....

Controlled, clinical peace....

Comfortably Numb Again

Comfortably Numb

It was the moment of truth, the realization hit her like lightning...

But the feeling was familiar- a sense of deja-vu,

It didn't hurt anymore- She has become Comfortably Numb

From Uncle Sam's Kitty

So Uncle Sam caught hold of me yesterday-

" Why do u always write fiction-55 with unhappy endings

" Well, er, um I guess I am usually sad when I write them"

"That is no reason- you should be able to switch off and think of variety, Art for Art's Sake"

So Uncle Sam in his great magnamity has shared some of his Fiction -55 pieces , Uncle Sam is unavilable for comments, you can give your comments to me instead-

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He left at 7 - a dark night in Wintry Delhi ..?He had been neglecting studies and acting suspiciously of late - going without notice for hours altogether but this was the limit! Tonight he will be questioned .. As the clock struck 10 and tempers mounted, a familiar voice came on the radio.

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She woke up, startled by the noise of a car driving off – next to her, the bed was empty, left warm by its tenant; she sighed and dozed off; no different from the others she thought.
She woke up, startled by the noise of a car parking …

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She woke up, startled by the noise of a car driving off – next to her, the bed was empty, left warm by its tenant; she tensed – her parents had told her to be careful with guys in the city - and sobbed hopelessly .. until she heard a car parking …

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The noise woke her up; she gathered her slippers and rubbed her eyes - damned rats or the cat after the damned rats. She took her hairbrush and stepped through the kitchen door to see him standing at the stove – making tea. Errr.. I’m sorry I forgot your name from last night.. she blurted

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Don’t push him – he’ll fall .. he shrieked, but Mamma said, not to worry dear, he won’t! But Dad was anxious, the branch his son was on was too tenous and quite high for his age when the inevitable happened

He flapped his wings furiously even as he fell and gained flight

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He kissed everyone just as he had thought, he collected the award with the right pose as the cameras clicked, the thank you speech was a resounding success and he walked back to his seat with elan as if it he received them all his life!! After all 5 rehearsals did count…

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He forgot the kisses he meant to give, he held the statutte too tightly on stage, he fumbled with his speech and went back to his seat thinking - all those preparations from the past 6 years were futile. Such moments deserve their spontaneity.

Small Things

The morning rush-hour, the huge traffic signal jams, the FM music blasting out from the cars and cabs, the honking, the cacophony of the fusion of the noises.......It was another typical day. He sat patiently, waiting for the traffic to move-she hadnt called till now- usually by now-she would have sent 2-3 messages and made atleast one call....
Other days he cut her calls after 2 mins saying "am driving"...
Today she didnt call- he waited patiently- the traffic moved

He kept wondering how do such small things fit into life's greater schemes and then become essentials.......

The imperfect boy

It was raining heavily. I needed a shelter, the book shop looked inviting. There he was seated at a corner-the imperfect boy with a perfect smile. He looked up at me and gave me a smile . I lost myself- the tears got a life of their own-it helped that my cheeks and face were wet already. A life of 5 summers spent without coordination-they call it Neuro Muscular Disorder - I call it God’s Mirthless Humour.........





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The mother

"U do understand it -don't u, we have to do it"- That was her mother-in-law.

She knew it was useless to argue further.

"Don't worry it wouldnt pe painful or hazardous"-continued the MIL....

Well didnt she already know that- wasnt it the same last time as well.

She gave a sigh and took out her diary - The glossary of names that she had written-Amrita, Maya, Pritha, Supriya..... etc would now not be required-they would never be required.

As she tore off the pages- the loud conch shell noises and the beating of drums to the accompaniment of chantings of prayers from the neighbourhood broke out in the air - breaking her reverie.

Durga Puja is being celebrated as usual with great elan in - The Mother Goddess the symbol of strength and fertility........

The Difference

"Why?"

"Because there is a difference between you and I"

"What Difference ? Don't Speak in riddles"

"I was ready to give up everything else for you and you gave me up for everything else-that's the difference"

The silence was loud.....

The Moment

"I don't want to lose you" -He knew he was too late but he wanted her to know.

She didnt turn back-"I was never yours to lose."

He went out and stood in the rain, the raindrops washed away his tears.

The world around him seemed to have become a blur-Sometimes the simplest things are

the most difficult to understand............

And....

"Are u sure you want this" -there was a trace of anger in his voice. It irked him that she needed him so less-her decision was made.

" You know the answer-dont u"-She was knitting- a pink and white pattern- her fingers kept on moving as if by magic knotting, twisting ,rolling the wool-while she spoke.

He tried to keep his voice steady-"Do you understand the significance, the consequences could be severe"

She stopped....and Looked up...

" There is a beautiful land in my dreams, where I work to make my life happy, where I am independent of identities, where I make my own choices.....But this will not remain a dream .....And my baby will be born in this land.....And that is MY choice"

He remained quiet-there was nothing to say

That Moment

He held her hand tightly -they were in the cab...The radio was on in full blast- KK crooned "kal rahe ya na rahe kal...pal yaad aayenge yeh pal"....
Irony- She thought- and smiled to herself....There were so many things that they needed to tell each other.....But sometimes words are inadequate to express feelings....so they kept quiet.....
She kept looking out of the window- pretending to be interested in the landscape outside-
He kept playing with his cell phone........
"hum rahe ya na rahe kal....yaad aayenge yeh pal"-went on KK.........
The Cab screeched to a halt-It was time.......
The airport was crowded as always....but they could see only each other....They Hugged each other -loath to let each other go- And Quietly flowed the tears.....
Yes words were not adequate-nor were they required....

The Wait

He told me to wait for him- I did. It has been five years since then, I am still waiting.

I know this is futile , but atleast I have something to pray for at the end of each day and something to look forward to at the beginning of each day