Panchali

And I thought I was born lucky.....but then who wouldnt....
Am a princess by birth, daughter of a great and powerful king, I have been told I am beautiful, charming and accomplished- I am not arrogant but do possess a self esteem and pride born out of my self worth. Many a times when I would sit at the lotus garden at the feet of my father-he would stroke my head and tell me" My krishnaa, you r my strength-I dream of a future as bright as the dazzle of your eyes for you"

On those occassions I have always managed to hide my tears- for I had always been told that the future of a princess is a palace far far away in some distant realm. And yet when I grew older those dreams began to have a attraction -along with the distant palace I began to dream of a handsome , charming, sensitive , brave prince......he would wed me, and take me away and we would weave a world of love.....

And today I thought my dreams were going to be true.....Although the prince had lost his kingdom, but he retained his strength, his charm and magnetism.....For a split second just before he proved his valour at the court hall-he had looked up at me- bedecked in bridal finery I was waiting in sweet anticipation with my maids- and our eyes met-it was a split second.....but it seemed like a million years to me....My life, my fate,destiny , desires, aspirations were to be decided in the next few minutes that followed- but I was almost mesmerised by his burning eyes and the hint of a smile on his face......the next few hours passed in a blur-I was in a euphoric state of mind.......My prince had won me...and the time had come to go away to the distant realm , to my land of dreams....

I heard whispers, excited murmurs all around me..."Kunti's son...Arjun...Pandava..she is lucky......" Yes i thought so too....The brave prince, the handsome warrior who had captured the imagination of every young girl in the country had won me..."Oh krishna u r so lucky" .....everyone said.....And I thought I was....I had already fallen in love....He too looked captivated....And then I saw them....The four brothers....They were there- standing showering flowers on us as we were getting married...I looked at them and a passing thought came..something ..some recognition of a emotion on their face...but it wentas soon as it had come-I couldnt be bothered to analyse their feelings...I was building my own world......And that was the beginning of the End....

They knocked....I was waiting ...my face covered with a veil as expected of a bride...My Arjun beside me...the old lady- my mother-in-law must be performing her evening prayers I was told..They knocked again-this time a reply came from inside-a sweet but tired voice- "oh u have returned my sons.....What have you brought today..." And someone spoke -I am not sure who-
" something special for you"....she replied...from within..."Whatever it is -share it amongst yourself equally-As Always"
Was it the sound of my heart that beat loudly protesting against the mistake or was it a gasp from my newly wedded husband.....??
Was it my strength or my weakness that I did not swoon, that I stood there like a rock-witnessing my humiliation-scene by scene.....Actually on hindsight-I think it was my optimism that refused to die out even in the last few minutes- till the die was finally cast......I still foolishly expected some laughter, some humour, some banter and then a clarification about the mistake made by mother...And I waited...still not daring to look at my husband...now I admit somewhere in my deepest of thoughts I always knew the truth - but was scared to admit it.......And I waited foolishly-And then came the verdict...." As you say mother-your wish is our command"......
Even as I listened stunned-I was hit by an instant sense of realisation and recognition -the look on their faces- during the wedding-when they were showering flowers-something that I had missed earlier- It wasnt happiness or joy, it wasnt pride, it was Lust- Pure naked undisguised Lust.......

For the second time in the evening I looked at my husband again- And I was not too surprised to see him looking-not angry, not humilated, not guilty....But there was a sense of Extreme Relief..............

And thus I became Panchali.......

The Wait

He told me to wait for him- I did. It has been five years since then, I am still waiting.

I know this is futile , but atleast I have something to pray for at the end of each day and something to look forward to at the beginning of each day

Mouse Story

Mouse Story ... Or Our Story

Mouse Story ... A mouse looked through the crack in the wall to see the farmer and his wife open a package. "What food might this contain?" The mouse wondered - he was devastated to discover it was a mousetrap. Retreating to the farmyard, the mouse proclaimed the warning. "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The chicken clucked and scratched, raised her head and said, "Mr. Mouse, I can tell this is a grave concern to you but it is of no consequence to me. I cannot be bothered by it ." The mouse turned to the pig and told him, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The pig sympathized, but said, "I am so very sorry, Mr. Mouse, but there is nothing I can do about it but pray. Be assured you are in my prayers." The mouse turned to the buffalo and said, "There is a mousetrap in the house! There is a mousetrap in the house!" The buffalo said, "Wow, Mr. Mouse. I'm sorry for you, but it 's no skin off my nose." So, the mouse returned to the house, head down and dejected, to face the farmer's mousetrap -- alone. That very night a sound was heard throughout the house like the sound of a mousetrap catching it s prey. The farmer's wife rushed to see what was caught. In the darkness, she did not see it was a venomous snake whose tail the trap had caught. The snake b it es the farmer's wife. The farmer rushed her to the hosp it al and she returned home w it h a fever. Everyone knows you treat a fever w it h fresh chicken soup, so the farmer took his hatchet to the farmyard for the soup's main ingredient the Chicken. But his wife's sickness continued, so friends and neighbors came to s it w it h her around the clock. To feed them, the farmer butchered the pig. The farmer's wife did not get well; she died. So many people came for her funeral; the farmer had the buffalo slaughtered to provide enough meat for all of them. The mouse looked upon it all from his crack in the wall w it h great sadness. So, the next time, you hear someone is facing a problem and think it doesn't concern you, remember -- when one of us is threatened, we are all at risk. We are all involved in this journey called life. We must keep an eye out for one another and make an extra effort to encourage one another. REMEMBER: EACH OF US IS A VITAL THREAD IN ANOTHER PERSON'S TAPESTRY; OUR LIVES ARE WOVEN TOGETHER FOR A REASON. One of the best things to hold onto in this world is a friend . : )

Rosa Jaaneman.......

I'm disturbed by the split: Rosa

Rosa's gone to where she is from, Saif tells us.

The much-talked-about, four-year relationship between Saif Ali Khan and his Italian girlfriend Rosa has finally come to an end with Rosa moving back to Switzerland.
Meanwhile, the reason for the Saif-Rosa split isn't known, but rumours are that his growing friendship with Amrita could be one. But it could also be that Rosa's increasing ambition resulted in an ego clash between the two
For months we were told about the details of the acrimonius divorce between Amrita Singh and Saif Ali Khan

Now we have to bear the sob stories of Rosa as well:)

Sometime back there was a news about Raveena Tandon losing her dog

And Ash's first engagement to her third (official) boyfriend for whom this is the 2nd engagement( this guy has a penchant for hooking actresses more successful than him)

Abd then the stories about Shilpa's torture in Big Brother

And Liz Hurley's shaadi to Arun Nayyar

Hey yesterday I saw south superstar Nagarjuna at a disc at Hyderabad-and guess what- this is really sensational i tell u............you won't believe me....he was SNEEZING....I even took a snap on my cell phone..

Right now I am googling to ge the numbers of AAJ TAK to sell my stories to them........